Okay, the Japanese boss “fired” me when I asked if I could visit my grand-pa for a week. That was more of a welcome surprise 
Of course, I was a bit sad, because I would not see my crush, and best friend, the t.v. cameraman… Surely, it wasn’t meant to be , after-all, the feeling was just one way anyway 
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This is a side-story, there was some big news in the Philippines and he came to Manila for the nth time. One evening, he invited me to dinner. Am sure that he knew how much I liked him, because it was not a secret that he was my “crush”… At dinner, he looked at me, then told me that he was getting married, and that he wanted to keep our friendship… I cried a tear or two …but we ended up laughing – cause at that time, we ended up confessing to each other. I was able to tell him honestly about “my crush” at the exchange program in 1981, then he also told me – “I liked you at that time but I did not tell you…because I thought you liked someone else.” Whether it was true or not, it did not matter anymore… everything was okay- I was happy for him because he was getting married… 
Besides, it was now 1989 or 1990… not 1981…. So the lesson I learned, you should tell someone right away your feelings, yeah? 
Anyway, I had my plans moving – as soon as I got back to the city after seeing my “lolo” get better.
Getting the visa was the difficult thing because I had to line up at 5:30 in the morning… to avoid the queue at the Japanese Embassy. There were so many women who were with scary Japanese men… (maybe “yakuza” or Japanese mafia- recruiters).
My turn came and I was in front of the consul… He stood up from his chair, and looked at me, from foot to head… and asked me ” Why are you going to Japan?” As if he was implying, I was going to work there as “what they all think- as an entertainer” - Am sure he read my school visa application – but still asked those questions… 
Anyway, I looked at him and said ” Not all Filipinas are entertainers, I want to go and study Nihongo in Japan.” Then he looked at my papers, and then told me – “Come back, next week.” I was sure, he will stamp my passport with a visa… because I already had gotten the Certificate of Eligibility and the Admission to my school… it was just the formality of applying for the visa…. and that consul, was just trying to scare me… But, I had to be “proud “and showed him my intentions… and my personality… 
Not even the consul could stop me because I had passed step one, from the Immigration… already…
A week passed, and I went to the Embassy… of course – I got my Visa !!! Bansai !!
After I got it, I visited Sensei Miki, the professor who lived in the Philippines, he was a philanthropist, and language teacher, and at the same time – he worked to improve the Filipino-Japanese relationship, in terms of cultural and social activities. I “found” him as I searched the phone directory for Japan-Philippines related associations… and also was luckily introduced by my friend from the Embassy…
Before I applied for a visa, I went to Sensei Miki’s office-apartment and introduced myself, told him about my dreams of going back to Japan.. we instantly became friends with Sensei. After a few visits and phone calls, he already had found the family who was willing to take me in – for home-stay… until I get settled.
Everything was going well, and now, with my visa - nothing was gonna stop me…
I took out my savings, bought my ticket and booked my flight, for April 10th… the year 1991.
My family was happy for me… Mama, Papa and everyone was so excited but I think “sad” because the “eldest-child” was going away.
I was going to Nihongo school for 2 years…
I celebrated my 28th birthday on April 3 that year… and I was more than happy to “fly” -
Learning Nihongo was the reason I was going, but more than that – I had an inner motive - for me to grow up, be independent, so I can stand on my own… and that I hoped to happen in Japan…
I told my mama and papa – they should let me go, because I as the eldest child, I have to be dependable – so that in time, I will be “strong” to take care of my brothers and sisters… I told them that if I stayed in the Philippines, I will just grow up to be “spoiled” and I would not know anything about life because I was “protected” so well - I convinced them that I needed to grow up – and learn to do things on my own…
My parents gave me all the love, and support that I needed. However, I did not accept any financial support – because I wanted to start on my own…with really nothing… but my passion to learn Nihongo… and my guts to live in Japan “alone” without family…
So, on April 10th, I left the Philippines – with only 300 US dollars in my pocket – a gift from my Aunt MaryAnn, my mom’s sister, which was inside the envelope of the letter she handed the night before.
After crying and saying ” good-bye” to my family - I found myself on my way to Tokyo - inside the plane…
I was not afraid, I had hope – and was so excited to “get back to Japan”. There was no turning back… 
My home-stay mom and grand-ma
That night, my home-stay mama and her son picked me up at the airport in Narita, and they took me to our new home.
